You Deserve Good Things!

 Back at the beginning of September, I was getting lunch in M&S when I spotted a pair of boots out of the corner of my eye and stopped in my tracks. This is a very rare occurrence, but I knew these Bellatrix Lestrange/Victorian ice-skate-esque boots had to be mine. 

A few days (of thinking about the boots) later I went back for them, dragging my brother, sister and boyfriend with me for approval. I tried them on (really comfy) and agonised in front of the mirror before putting them back on the shelf, then went back for them and put them back again, before finally, just as we were about to leave for home I ran back into M&S to buy them. Even in the queue I was riddled with guilt and Rudi had to convince me that I wasn't a bad person for buying myself something new, and let's be honest, not a necessity.

 I'm glad to report that i'm over the buyers guilt now as I strut around in my Bellatrix boots, but it got me thinking about why we think we shouldn't do things that bring us joy and why we feel we don't deserve things. I'm not only talking about material purchases here, but other things in life that we somehow don't feel like we're worthy of.
 A huuuge example of this is my blogging/not blogging journey. I've actually had this account for TEN procrastination filled years, each time I started something i'd feel like it was rubbish and not worth anyone's time, I'd ask myself why would anyone want to follow me? or want to look at photos of me? I didn't think I was good enough, and as a result have missed out on a decade of doing what I really wanted to do. 

 I think most people suffer with a bit of self doubt and low self-worth sometimes, but you don't have to be a brain surgeon, high flying businesswoman, or anything else in that realm to believe that you are intelligent, kind and deserving of your aspirations. Start the project! Apply for the dream job! Eat the cake! Buy the boots! 

Boots - Marks & Spencer

Jeans - Primark

Jumper - Depop (H&M)

Headband - Primark

Photos by Rudi